Hoax of the week: Pope Goestheveezl

The old hoaxes/urban legends that were going around before the wide-spread use of e-mails occasionally resurface. This is one such example, which I quite like as it doesn't attempt to spread itself via fear, nor does it try to conn people out of their money. Hence a positive 'Hoax of the week' this time round. This version is a published one, to be found in the Armchair Anarchist's Handbook.

Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866. The white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his name had hilarious possibilities. The crowds fell about, helpless with laughter, singing:

Half a pound of tuppenny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the chimney smokes
Pope Goestheveezl

More Microsoft annoyances...

Other than the fact that I can't install most of the crap programmes that came with Vista (like Windows Media Centre, which is mixes up my CDs, has the wrong resolution, refuses to play most of my files and is just too cumbersome to work with. Or Windows Movie Maker, which I've never used, even on XP) and it still lacks sensible programmes (like a good stand-alone document viewer, I mean, if you're going to shove XPS down my throat at least include the (downloadable) stand-alone viewer instead of an Internet Explorer add-in. On that matter, how hard can it be to include a decent web-browser that has even a hint of standards compatibility?) my newest annoyance is that windows update is pushing the spam filter update for Outlook 2007 at my system. Okay I do have Office 2007 (Enterprise, via the Uni) installed, but I expressly told it NOT to install Outlook. Which it didn't, so no complaints there. So why do I need more system bloating updates for a (memory hugging, system slowing) mail client that I didn't install? There's even a separate update for Windows Mail - which I would by the way want to get rid of. Does Microsoft really expect me to have two mail clients, that I both use? Why would I want to do that?

Linux 2, Microsoft 1 --- Time to catch up Microsoft, decision time is approaching fast!

Sins updated

The Vatican has announced that it is labelling more activities as deadly sins. (BBC coverage here). My personal favourite is, of course, 'genetic manipulation', as most biological research these days involves genetic manipulation of lab strains of bacteria (my field being no exception). An increasing amount of medicines is produced in GM bacterial strains, and the current path taken towards the so-called bio-fuels (whole different rant altogether) will rely on GM bacteria to achieve any viable efficiency whatsoever. Now that polluting is also a sin, this means that a prime attempt at solving this problem is cut off, because it would involve committing another sin. I do have to add, though, that the definition of what genetic manipulation is according to the Vatican differs: some sources specify humans, others don't. If pollution is a sin, eating meat may be more sinful than sticking to a vegetarian diet. Being able to own and use technology is a double offence: first of all you're too rich (also a new sin*) and second of all you're too polluting. Of course, I claim no coherency in this story whatsoever. To make this rant coherent, I would (and maybe even could) write a book. Nonetheless, if we add all these items up, the Vatican's ideal would be a situation where we go back to (more or less) medieval times, or what I'm trying to say: in the most strict interpretation this would directly warrant large changes in everybody's daily life. This ties in perfectly with the Vatican's disappointment in the fact that people do not go to confession often enough any more - there's the option of confessing your sins more often, or not sinning and going to medieval times, in either which case the power of the church will start to be restored to its former glory. Though I would nearly see that as the final hidden agenda. I wonder how many sins such a (hidden) desire would carry...
Of course, there's always a third option: people will leave the (already rapidly shrinking) church altogether and join a protestant church, or go their own way.
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!

*I wonder when the Vatican is going to hand out money, it seems they have plenty of cash to spare...

My faith in Microsoft is quashed, again.

So, I have a new laptop! (the old one decided to become a constipated hairdryer, I've taken it to bits and I now know just how poorly it was manufactured. This means that it is extremely unlikely that I will ever buy or recommend and Acer system, as only positive thing about the quality of the system is that it's still better than the quality of Acer support).
Windows vista home basic came pre-installed, and, out of curiosity I acquired a copy of a vista ultimate update cd bundled with office 2007 via my university. I'm also used to running linux on my machines, and the server I use at the university (which I also maintain) runs unix, so it's always going to be a battle between OSes on my machine. Windows had just scored major points (as it always does) for handling multiple monitors better than the competition, and lenovo (laptop manufacturer) had won points for integrating their (useful!) apps nicely with Vista, indirectly adding point to the windows score. Windows had lost point for not having a customisable install and taking 40Gb of diskspace, whilst linux took less than 6 whilst still having all the functionality that I need.
Then I changed my memory (from 2Gb to 4Gb), which windows 32 bit can't fully recognise, but the tools that really need it are linux-only anyway, so that's why there's double boot). No problems. Two weeks later this script plays out:

[Me]: Takes out the removable optical drive (It's an ultrabay drive, I can change it for a harddisk or extra battery (not that I have them), replugs it, and docks laptop to the docking station.
[Vista]: *DING* Windows has detected a hardware change and needs to be reactivated.
[Me]: WT*? Okay, I'll play along, "Activate Windows!" *clickety*...
[Vista]: ...*DING* This product key is already in use. You need another key to activate windows!
[Me]: WT*^2?
[Vista]: Click here to buy a new one!
[Me]: WT*^3!!!
[Vista]: Call the automated phone system to activate windows...
[Me]: Hmmm, maybe they have a 'press 9' for a real person if registration fails.
[Skype]: This is an invalid number. (The toll free number)
[Me]: WT*?, tries non-toll free number
[Product activation]: (Long story with lots of numbers as input)
[Me]: Plays along, hits next after entering whole lot of numbers.
[Vista]: Registration succesfull, have a nice day!
[Me]: WT*^27.5

So, is this going to happen each time that I take out the cd-rom drive or dock my laptop? You get 3 days to reactivate before windows locks you out, and I have the fealing that this method will only works once. Linux is really scoring points here on the basis that it is far more reliable and less prone to lock me out of my own system, and hasn't been throwing updates at me every day for two weeks now (It does when it needs to and clearly tells me why (unlike microsoft), though). According to microsoft, I only need to reactivate if I change my motherboard (in some cases) or my memory and harddisk at the same time. Neither of these occured, why did I need to reactivate?

MS source: Windows Vista Activation Hardware Change see the bit about "What hardware changes may require re-activation". I don't have time for this stuff, I'm supposed to be working as a PhD student...